Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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