dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
