My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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