yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize