i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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