I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize