i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Farmville is her only friend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
