she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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