I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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