You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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