Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
