everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
