Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
