is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
