Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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