Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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