Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
