remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
