I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
