my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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