He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
this is an emotional support booty call
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
