Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
