Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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