I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
