He had one of those small greek statue penises
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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