I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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