I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
