zippers are such a cool invention
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can I color on your dick again?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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