Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
