Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I think I sprained my soul last night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
