i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
