i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I want a musical about memes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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