I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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