they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
