I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
