Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
