She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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