ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
