I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The air was thick with penises
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
