I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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