i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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