whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
