oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
