I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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