Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
