I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
