it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
