We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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