I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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