3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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