She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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