You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We had to coat check the pizza.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
