I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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