I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
