I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
