$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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