The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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