Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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