areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
