Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
