I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
