you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You've changed since you got that strap on
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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